


with claws and fangs (i'll rip your heart)

by geniewish



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Bottom Chae Hyungwon, Fluff and Angst, Gun Violence, Hybrids, HyungWonho - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Abuse, KITTEN!HYUNGWON, M/M, Rating Might Change, but its not that bad because hyungwon is doing just fine, hoseok is a caring soul, hyungwon and minhyuk are basically metamorphosis, mercenary!hoseok, minhyuk is friend goals, perspective change is a whole rollercoaster, possible showhyuk, puppy!minhyuk, they aren't really hybrids but let it be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 13:49:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13412613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geniewish/pseuds/geniewish
Summary: Hyungwon is running from his past and looking for a new home. Hoseok is lonely and needs human love but finds a stray cat instead. Hyungwon bears too many secrets and Hoseok kills people for money. There are riots and violence outside their window. They promise to fight together, side by side, with claws and guns.As long as they don't kill each other first.





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> so to clear the confusion hyungwon is a kitten but he is also kinda a normal cat, just bear with him okay 
> 
> the first chap is weird as fuck, but its gonna get better and kitten hyungwon will rise and kill us all
> 
> dont mind the description its not enemies to lovers its very kinky but its unintentionally kinky because they dont always mean names they call each other by lmao 
> 
> comments and kudos very appreciated!

He heard a muffled bang in the distance and shivered. It was getting late, dusking sun was slowly settling behind the horizon, leaving scary crimson-grey clouds in the sky that was so far away. It will rain tomorrow. 

There was another bang, much closer this time, and he froze in place, listening carefully. It would take him approximately two minutes to run to the closest alley and hide there, but there was a possibility of the gang moving in the same direction and then his hiding spot might get blown up. He stood, motionless, breathless, and listened. 

He distinguished a sound to his left and ran along the road, towards dark red brick four-story houses, leaving the mess behind. He was somewhere on the outskirts of Suwon. He was moving closer and closer to Seoul, and this was what motivated him to move forward non-stop. He ran along the highways, crawled under bridges, dragged himself through thousands and thousands of streets, invisible to strangers, hungry and restless. He was searching, wide-eyed, for a small hole in a house to sleep overnight, for an asylum, for a place to live. He scanned every passer-by, trying to find a kind person that wouldn’t mind taking him under their wing. A lonely granny who bought vegetables in the market that he would help to carry, a young girl who never went out at night and whom he would be able to protect, or maybe a hopeless businessman with a huge house and an empty hole in his heart that he would be able to fill in. But he never met those good people on the streets. Not a single driver would stop and pick him up when he roamed along the highway. If he was lucky he jumped on a passing train to Chonju and fit on the last platform, or hid under the bus to Namsan by the wheel, or finally relaxed in an open truck to Cheonan. He moved closer and closer to safety. 

He hid in the garbage bin as he felt the first drops of rain. It will rain the entire night and the entire day tomorrow. His stomach twisted in hunger. It was hard to find food, he never begged, and strangers never dropped him anything from their shopping bags – they were starving too. 

He moved out in the morning when the rain subsided. The sky was grey, dirty, dead, not even a glimpse of the sun. He made his way around the city carefully, through suburbs and slums. That way he was less noticeable, and therefore was safer, but he grew tired with every mile he passed, unable to find food and shelter. He kept walking. 

By the time he reached Anyang he was exhausted, ready to collapse on the road. He found himself in an alley between apartment buildings, a place where he usually slept in the trash among crows and other strays. Some he could talk to, some were ordinary and growled at him as if he was an alien. He felt like one most of the time. 

This alley was quiet, uninhabited, clean. He figured street gangs didn’t rummage through people’s homes in this city, and felt calmer. He hasn’t heard any bangs or screams in a while. He slumped in the garbage, unbothered by rain and cold. He was too tired to worry about little things like that. He was unbothered by big things too. A human was approaching him but he remained motionless, his head was lead, his eyes were metal, his limbs were iron. He wouldn’t get up even if his life was under threat. He didn’t reach his destination yet, he had to move on, but his tortured exhaustion took over him, and he turned his mind off in a strange bliss. A stranger kneeled down, a vague dark silhouette. He didn’t care. He just wanted to sleep. 

 

He didn’t remember his mother. She ran away from the clan when he turned two, in human age. He was left with a maid and other abandoned kids until he was ten. He was then let go from their cozy little nursery to join the mains where he was taught everything he knew until now. When he was fifteen, their haven in Gwangju suburb was threatened by a newly established gang. He had to find a new asylum. He ran with one of his mentors, the other already having a place to sleep in. He begged to stay, he promised to not occupy much space. When he turned eighteen, he received his fake ID and could finally live independently. Or so he thought. The part time job he found didn’t give him much – enough to get food and new clothes as he grew really quickly, but this was where his pleasure ended. He had to find a guardian, he needed someone to protect him on the streets. He found a man with an apartment in central Gwangju, and life seemed bearable again. He felt protected, loved, he felt like himself, like he could finally accept the two essences his existence carried. Everything was good for a while until it wasn’t. Soon he found himself on the streets again, no clothes, no food, no money, no documents, no matter how fake they were. He left everything in that burning apartment. He hit the road, in hopes for a new home. He heard that the mains of his clan moved to Seoul and they built a new shelter there. He established his direction and moved to the north. 

 

He woke up on a red leathery couch, in a warm-lit apartment. There was a wool blanket on the side, and something smelled pleasantly of beef and boiling soup. He got up but no one was around. The smell was coming from what he assumed to be the kitchen, the doorway with no door on the other side of this small nice flat. He trampled on the couch for a bit more until he decided to jump off and move towards the smell, but didn’t feel his feet touching the floor – it was his stomach that took the impact instead. His head felt dizzy, black spots clouding his vision and a ring in his ears, through which he just barely managed to distinguish a muffled thud of approaching footsteps. 

“Oh my, you woke up.” It was the man that found him on the street. He picked him up, wrapping one arm gently around his stomach and the other holding all of his legs, not even a tiny bit afraid of getting scratched or even attacked. Not that he planned to anyways. “I’ll get you something to eat, you must be hungry, mm?” the man talked to him, worry genuine in his eyes. He wheezed in return. 

 

“How should I call you?” the man asked him, stroking his head and scratching right behind his ear. “Should I just call you Cat? I’m not very good with names.” He lingered into the touch, missing the man’s blabbering. “I mean, my neighbour’s dog is called DoGgo, like Doe and like Go, I don’t actually know why, but he isn’t really good with names either. Do you mind just Cat?” the man asked him again, fingers moving along his spine. He winced. “Hey, what’s that?” the man drew his finger lightly on his back, right above the spot. “You have a scar here.” He jerked at the touch, unpleasant feeling itching under his skin. “I’m sorry. I’ll just take a look, do you mind?” the man referred to him as if he expected an answer, even though he knew perfectly well he wouldn’t receive one. Well, not just yet. He let him observe his scar. “What is it? Like, uh, crossed sticks? Bones? No, it’s more detailed than that. It’s not a battle scar. My god, Cat, what kind of morons did that to you?” the man looked shocked and sounded no less terrified. “It looks like someone did a proper scarification job on you. You poor little thing.” The man hugged him closer, fingers buried into the tiny fold under his cheeks, face into his neck. “No wonder you were on the streets. I would run away from such sadists too.” He wanted to smile, but felt too relaxed to move even a muscle. “You are staying with me.” He didn’t mind. 

To say the man was nice was not enough. He was handsome, broad, strong, but his hands were so gentle, and his voice was so soothing and pleasant to listen to, he could fall asleep with his soft blabbering on the background. He cooked well, he lived in a clean apartment, had a nice couch, reachable shelves, a quiet neighbourhood, and there was a gun on his coffee table. 

He definitely didn’t mind staying here for longer. 

 

The man’s name was Shin Hoseok, and he was a mercenary. Twenty seven years old, lived alone, and he was a caring human being who killed people for money. Unless some angered bastards decided to bang on his door, he could feel safe in Hoseok’s apartment. 

Hoseok usually left for half a day and never forgot to leave some food in a bowl. He didn’t need to though, because meat in his fridge was a far better treat. And since Hoseok was always gone for so long, there was a lot of time for him to transform and move around freely. He didn’t risk changing his appearance until the third day of his stay, and only after making sure Hoseok was gone for a good hour could he shed the dead hair and stretch his limbs. 

He had enough time to observe the apartment well and by now he knew where everything was. Spare toothbrushes were in the top drawer in the bathroom. There was always warm water in the shower. Home clothes were in the closet in the middle shelf to the left. When Hoseok opened the fridge, he stayed behind him and glanced over the content. Fresh fish, raw meat, bacon and sausages, frozen shrimps and homemade fish cakes. As if he asked for all those treats. 

He chose the middle of the living room as the most spacious and transformed there. Damn it, it hurt, after weeks of travelling and barely any proper food in his stomach, he really didn’t feel that great with extra joints, elongated bones and exposed naked skin, but was it worth it. He felt free. 

It took him some time to warm up, cracking every joint, stretching his muscles. He felt slightly uncoordinated, head spinning from looking around the world of the living room from such height. Then familiar human senses finally awoke and he walked to the bedroom to look at himself in the full-height mirror. Nothing new. A few healing scratches there and there, hair long and greasy, and a few kilograms down. He really needed to start living like a human being again.

He grabbed a towel from the bathroom, wrapped it around his hips and went out onto the balcony. It’s been ages since he saw the world from such height, considering that he’s been on the road for weeks. He craved a cigarette. 

“So you’re my new neighbour now.” He jumped when he heard someone getting on the balcony next to him. He didn’t know this complex had so little privacy with those, just a rail separating the two men. Next to him was a thin tall guy his age with poorly died white hair and warm doe eyes. He smelled of a big, dirty dog. 

“Huh,” his voice was hoarse from not speaking for so long, and he cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah, I just moved in, you can say.”

“He found you on the street, right?” he was dressed in briefs and a large t-shirt and he was holding a pack of cigarettes. He fixed his gaze on the other guy’s hands.

“You can say that, yeah.”

“Knew it. I smelled a cat from across the wall.” The guy said and Hyungwon gave him a questioning look. “I’m Minhyuk, by the way.” The other extended his free hand, and he squeezed it back. 

“Hyungwon. And—“ Minhyuk extended a hand with a cigarette, and Hyungwon gratefully accepted it. “Thanks.”

“You look a bit rough. Hard time getting here?” Minhyuk helped him light a cigarette, and Hyungwon relaxed as the smoke got into his lungs and his head. 

“Yeah, I did. All the way from Gwangju, actually.” Minhyuk whistled. 

“Damn. You are a touch cookie. I’m from Gwangju as well, so I know the struggle. What clan are you from?”

“Even heard of Nychia?”

“Nuh-huh. Catsy business?” 

“Heads call themselves karkarias or something like that. It’s Greek for a shark or some shit. The clan itself in all about claws and fangs, unironically.”

“Oh, wait, sounds familiar. So you are hard school?” Minhyuk inhaled and exhaled smoke in a very relaxed manner, closing his eyes and taking long drags.

“The hardest you can ever find.” 

“Bad luck. I’m from a stray pack, so I had it fairly easy with my freedom.” He frowned. “Hard with some rights, though.”

“I’ve been a stray since I was fifteen. I know the struggle.” Hyungwon smiled. 

“Looks like we’ll get along then,” Minhyuk smiled back, and they both fell into comfortable silence. It was nice to have a company, even if it was not quite his species. 

 

Hoseok came home later than usual. Not taking off his heavy dirty boots, he came in and threw his dirty jacket on the floor, spiting on it, and angrily stomped to the kitchen. He returned to the living room with a bottle of beer, which he hungrily half emptied and put in on the table with a loud thud. Hyungwon incontrollable shivered, and only then Hoseok noticed him. He observed the cat for a while.

“Hey,” he simply said and suddenly his gaze softened. Hyungwon stared, not moving an inch closer. Hoseok smelled of danger, rage, dirt and dried blood. His white sleeveless shirt was covered in grey and brown streaks of what seemed to be dust. Hoseok was sweating and he wiped the back of his head on his forehead, leaving a streak of dark red on it. The floor was stained with prints of his combat boots. Hoseok seemed to notice Hyungwon indicating all those things with wide-open eyes, and the man sighed loudly. He took of his boots and went to bathroom, coming back with a wet towel. He wiped his face and his hands clean and approached the couch by which Hyungwon was standing, and the latter could finally distinguish a few cuts on the man’s palms and fingers. Hoseok sat down, Hyungwon jumped on the couch right after him, snuggling to his side. 

“Hey, Cat,” Hoseok said again, gently stroking Hyungwon spine. The smell of blood was unbearable. He caught the man’s hand with his paws and Hoseok let him do whatever he wished. He smiled as he observed Hyungwon licking over smaller cuts on his fingers, washing away blood smudges around the wounds and leaving only thin red lines. Hyungwon hesitated, eyeing the big cut across his palm. It was still fresh.

“It’s fine, Cat, I’ll stitch it myself,” Hoseok petted his head and got up, reaching for a wooden box on one of the shelves. It had medicine inside. Hoseok disinfected the wounds and wrapped some bandages around it. For someone who killed people for a living, he didn’t seem to know how to take care of someone alive. Especially himself. “I will take a shower and go to bed.” With this Hoseok turned to leave the living room, switched the lights off, finished the other half of his beer and left. Hyungwon felt very lonely on the couch that night. 

 

“So, what do they do, exactly?” Hyungwon asked, taking a drag. Minhyuk and him were on the balcony again, smoking and talking, enjoying chilly morning breeze. 

“They kill people and get money for it.”

“Yeah, I got this part.” Hyungwon chuckled, “Maybe something more specific?”

Minhyuk looked into the distance, deep in thought. He was pretty, with protruding cheekbones and nicely shaped lips. His hair was dry and didn’t look like anyone took care of it in quite some time now. And he still smelled like a big wet dog. “I’ve been with Hyunwoo for about a year now. I never talked to him, you know. He doesn’t talk much either, only with Hoseok, really.”

“How did you know he was a mercenary?”

“He has papers on literally every wall. I can’t read well but I can understand ‘target’, ‘price’ and ‘dead’, names and pictures help me a lot too. Oh, and don’t forget the insane amount of guns they keep on the table.”

Hyungwon laughed, “This cracks me up every time. He just comes in, puts his gun down, not even emptying the magazine, mind that, and goes to take a bottle of beer or two. He’s crazy.”

“You don’t get scared at the thought that he might shoot you one day?” Minhyuk asked, pretty serious. Hyungwon shook his head, smile still tugging at his lips.

“No, he is really nice. Incredibly nice. He might come home angry, but he lets me nuzzle him and he pets me and strokes me, and scratches behind my ear - it’s where I like it the most. I think he relaxes when he sees me, you know? I think he is still a very caring person despite... everything.” Hyungwon looked Minhyuk in the eye, and the latter whistled. 

“Wow, someone’s in love.”

“Oi, shut up,” he shoved him playfully, “As if you stayed with Hyunwoo for a whole year just because he lets you eat human food.”

Minhyuk huffed, “He is a good person, okay. I just have a very unpleasant experience with individuals who own guns and know about us.”

“Yeah,” Hyungwon lowered his head in thought, “You’re right, guns and hybrids don’t fit well together.”

 

The door clicked open, and Hyungwon could hear the keys and the gun being put on the table in the living room. “Cat, you ate all my dry fish again?” Hoseok appeared in the kitchen and picked Hyungwon up, a piece of food still in his mouth. “How did you even learn to open the fridge? Isn’t the door supposed to be heavy?” he opened the fridge to confirm his suspicion and hummed, Hyungwon still tucked under his armpit. The cat sneezes at the smell. “Are you ill?” Hoseok asked, worried. Hyungwon made the effort to escape the man’s grip and jumped on the floor, head shaking a ‘no’. Hoseok frowned. Hyungwon sneezed again and sat, raised his leg and started demonstratively cleaning himself. Hoseok raised his own arm and sniffed. He grimaced, “Okay, I get you.” He eyed the cat suspiciously, “Didn’t think you’d be so picky to smells when I literally found you in a trash can.” Hyungwon stopped what he was doing to give the man a stare, which the other couldn’t quite interpret. He was just a simple man, not a mind reader, and so when he left to take a shower, pulling his dirty shirt off over his head on the way, Hyungwon just stayed there, sullen and unmotivated. 

“Cat, let’s watch a movie,” Hoseok proposed as he entered the living room in fresh clothes and with hair still wet from the shower. He cocked his head to the side in confusion at the sight of his cat sitting in front of the bookshelf and admiring its content. He approached the shelf, picking a DVD that was lying on top of others and went to the TV set to insert the disc. Hyungwon observed the cover – it was some old American film. “Gone with the Wind, be ready for a long-long stay on the couch by my side,” with that Hoseok picked him up and carried him to their red leathery couch that Hyungwon learned to love. “I never watched it with a company. You’ll be the first one,” Hoseok cupped his small face and pecked the top of his head and turned back to the TV. Hyungwon twitched as Hoseok suddenly jerked and fished his phone out of his pocket as it buzzed. It was a notification but Hyungwon couldn’t quite see what it was from. Hoseok opened the news page, with a picture of a blown up building under the title. The man huffed, annoyed, “They struck again, and near Anyang this time. Fucking bastards.” Hyungwon snuggled closer to his side to calm him down and Hoseok gratefully scratched his cheek. If they were approaching here, he needed to get out. He would have gone a lot time ago if it wasn’t for the man holding him right now. Hyungwon visibly sulked, and Hoseok moved him onto his lap to stroke along his spine. The film began. 

“I am… really fucking lonely, Cat,” Hoseok mumbled after an hour and a half of silence with the TV still on, uncertain and melancholic. His hand resumed stroking under Hyungwon’s cheeks, and the latter tried hard not to purr. It was a moment for him to listen. “I haven’t had anyone in such a long time, it’s driving me insane,” Hyungwon licked his fingers and Hoseok smiled, “Why do I feel like you understand me well, Cat? How crazy would it be if you really understood me?” Hyungwon leaned more into the touch, closing his eyes, focusing on the movement of Hoseok’s hand and his quiet yet expressive voice. “I lost all my friends. I killed some of them. Well, not really killed, but they died, and I think it was my fault. Hyunwoo, my neighbour, and a few others were the only ones lucky. It’s just miserable how the only way to survive in our world now is to shoot bastards for money and then suffer from loneliness because there seriously isn’t anyone you can trust.” Hoseok paused, just his breath filling Hyungwon’s ears in quiet rhythm. He lied on his side, still on the man’s lap, and curled into a ball. He heard Hoseok chuckling. “You are so cute. Easy being you, eh. You get love and food from me for free. Not everyone is that lucky.” Hyungwon curls more, “I still don’t understand why you were lying in the gutter, so exhausted and bony. You don’t look like a stray cat. Someone must have owned you,” he hovered his fingers over the scar on the side and Hyungwon tried not to shudder. Hoseok reached for the remote, stopped the film and picked the cat up. “It’s late, let’s go sleep, I have a lot of work tomorrow.” 

Hoseok didn’t let him go until they reached his bedroom, and he let Hyungwon jump on his bed. He laughed at the cat’s visibly confused face, “I need some company, you can curl on the pillow next to mine,” Hoseok simply said and took his clothes off. Hyungwon has been to this room before – to steal some clothes and admire himself in the narrow full-height mirror, but never was he invited to sleep here. He wasn’t banned from it either, the door was always slightly open, but Hyungwon preferred to give the man some privacy at night. But he could never reject the offer to sleep in the nice smelling, soft bed. Hoseok turned the lights off and climbed under the sheets. “Good night, Cat.”

 

The next day Hoseok came crashing into his apartment with another young man in his embrace, and Hyungwon froze on the couch, unable to avert his gaze from the scene. They were making out on the doorstep, barely managing to take their boots off. Hoseok didn’t have a gun with him, so he must have spent his day teaching the cadets. The other young man was wearing army uniform. 

The two stumbled across the living room, and Hyungwon jumped off the couch and escaped to the kitchen, refusing to watch any more of what was happening right in front of his cat eyes. 

Two days later it was a woman. She was obviously from a special place. Hyungwon ran to the kitchen, not waiting for the newcomers to even enter the living room properly. 

It happened multiple times, and every time it was someone new. It had only been a month since his stay here. Hyungwon felt tinier than he actually looked, he felt insignificant and out of place. He paced under the kitchen table at night as he tried to find comfort for his small feline soul. He considered transforming, stealing one of Hoseok’s long army jackets and finding Minhyuk next door, but Hyunwoo was probably there too, and he couldn’t risk anything. He couldn’t even run away at this point, too attached to the man he’s been living with. The other man was too human for his own understanding. Everyone was always too human for him. 

 

The image in his dream was crooked and floating, as if the exhaustion clouded his mind too and undermined his brain functions. He was with a man from his past, his strong arms holding him down, fingers clutching his shoulders. He shook him hard, head hitting the floor, and his vision darkened. He closed his eyes and surrendered himself to the darkness of his dream before something wet fell on his face. Smell of putrefaction, and another drop of saliva on his cheek. He opened his eyes and faced the beast, the mirror image of himself, canines dirtied with blood, saliva dripping from the corners of his jaw. He relaxed, staring the beast dead in the eye. It was him. He could give himself in. He waited for the impact as the beast growled, the sound resonating from his stomach and filling his head. The beast cried out and Hyungwon woke up.

 

“You look a bit stressed today. Everything okay?” Minhyuk asked as they stood next to each other on the balcony in pyjama pants and long army jackets. It was getting cold. 

“Yeah,” Hyungwon absentmindedly replied, taking another drag. The sky was gray, and it was misty in the distance. It was so deadly quiet in the neighbourhood. He shivered involuntarily. 

“I so believe you.”

Hyungwon sighed and lowered his head, “Hoseok is acting weird. He talks to me all the time. Once he said he was so lonely he was going mad,” Hyungwon chuckled, realising the reason behind the man’s constant blabbering, “He started bringing other people home to sleep with them, and I’m not okay with it.” He grimaced at the memory.

Minhyuk gave him a long stare before exhaling right into his face, “He sleeps with men.”

“How did you know?” Hyungwon turned to look at him, surprised. 

Minhyuk sniffed, face deadpan. Hyungwon mumbled a ‘right’ and threw a cigarette butt into the distance. 

“You really want to tell him, don’t you?” Minhyuk asked, following his movements. 

“No, what are you on about,” Hyungwon tried to sound casual and oblivious but ironically mocked himself instead. Minhyuk raised his brow, and Hyungwon sighed for the nth time over this conversation, “Obviously I do. He is more than an owner now, and don’t give me that stare when I say that!” he pouted at Minhyuk but continued when the other smiled and patted his shoulder. “I’m… sad, okay. I’m nothing but a stupid pet to him. Shit, he makes me angry!” Hyungwon hit the balcony rail, something was burning inside of him, squeezing his lungs and his brain. “He can’t do this me, he has to stop, or I’ll lose myself,” He glanced at Minhyuk, the other lowering his gaze in solidarity, understanding perfectly what the other was referring to, “again.” 

 

“Cat, what’s wrong with you?” Hoseok was freaking out. Hyungwon threw a whole tantrum, refusing to eat and marking every single corner in the apartment. The man was tired of cleaning, he ran out of tissues, he ran out of breath too, trying to catch the bewildered pet. Every time he was getting close to him, Hyungwon hissed and scratched him, claws seemingly longer than they usually were. He looked and felt bigger than normal, fur rough and sticking up, vertical pupils smaller and sharper, growls louder and angrier. 

“Cat, stop!” Hoseok stood in the middle of the living room, desperate for this mess to cease. He was nearly pleading, but when Hyungwon snarled at him again, he spit on the floor and shouted back, aggressive, dangerous, inhuman nearly. Hyungwon quietly growled but kept his position, ready to attack at any moment. “If you don’t stop, I will call the animal control and they will take you!” he screamed at him. His face burned red, his eyes were clouded with sick glint, and veins were popping on his neck and his forehead. 

This did nothing to calm Hyungwon down. He stared at the man, pupils nearly gone, blue light nearly radiating from his eyes. He scratched the wooden floor, and suddenly he seemed to double in size, definitely reaching above Hoseok’s knee level. He roared, groaned, beastly sounds at which Hoseok audibly swallowed, taking another step back, further from the animal. 

He was not a cat. Not anymore. 

Hoseok took another step back, approaching the table behind him. The animal wailed, opening his jaws wider, sound coming all the way from his stomach. Hoseok froze in place, unable to reach for his weapon. The animal’s eyes spoke words, but the man couldn’t decipher what it was. He was going crazy.

“Cat, it’s me, Hoseok,” he put his empty hands forward, lips trembling as he mumbled those words. “It’s me. I don’t want to hurt you.” The animal quieted, but the groans didn’t stop. His eyes screamed danger. “Please, bring me my cat back,” Hoseok’s voice wavered as he finished his sentence, tears nearly escaping his eyes. He stared the animal in the eyes and took a step forward, cursing his decision-making skill and a tendency to turn everything into suicide. “Cat,” he blinked and wet traces appeared on his cheeks, “please,” he chocked back a sob as the animal blinked back at him. Hoseok couldn’t understand whether it was his blurry vision or hallucinations, but the animal’s face softened. The groans got quieter, turning into muffled wheezes, “I want my cat back,” he heard low snores in response, and in second the animal howled in pain, all fangs out, eyes wet and pupils blown. They were round. 

The animal grew smaller, started shedding, black fur falling on the floor. Hoseok felt like in a trance until he heard loud painful cracks. Like stepping on dry branches in the forest, but louder, deeper. Like bones. 

He heard pleading meows and wiped his eyes to clear his vision, but he saw everything as it was. It was his cat, twitching on the floor, limbs growing and bending in wrong directions, tail disappearing, ribs protruding his skin as they grew wider. He saw his cat’s paws growing bigger and forming knuckles, his muzzle shortening and his spine elongating. And like needles that poked through the material, the fur just retreated behind the tanned beige skin. Human skin. 

He heard a hiss and a deep whine, and Hoseok blinked again to see a human lying on the floor of his living room. A naked human being with black hair and long human limbs that he quickly collected and sat down, cross-legged, hands between them. 

The human being had a face, and this human being was not his cat. 

Hoseok stared at him, unable to say anything, as the man—and it was a real man, he was sure—stared back at him, strangely blue eyes peeking underneath black bangs. 

“Hey,” the man hoarsely said, and Hoseok jumped, clutching his chest, shock filling his entire body. 

“You are not my cat,” he breathed out, not moving even an inch closer to the human on his floor.

The man smiled smugly and raised an eyebrow, a very human gesture, if Hoseok could judge. “I am.”

Hoseok shook his head, hands still on his chest and eyes wide open. Words got stuck in his mouth. 

“You want me to transform again to prove it?” the other man asked and Hoseok shook his head with even more vigor than before. 

“’m fine.” He choked out. He had to even out his breathing. 

“What do you want me to do to make you believe?” the man asked. He seemed very comfortable sitting naked on his floor. 

“Who am I?” Hoseok meant to ask the man but seemed to ask himself to make sure he still remembered who he was. He spit the question out in one word. 

The other man chuckled, “Shin Hoseok, twenty seven, a mercenary, your favourite handgun is of twenty two caliber and you shoot people for money. You have a neighbour Hyunwoo, I’m friends with his dog, by the way.” He paused and pouted, thinking, “Hm, you love ‘Gone with the Wind’ and both men and women equally. You found a cat in the trash in this neighbourhood, took care of it. Oh, and this cat is me.” He finished, smiling slightly. 

Hoseok breathed normally and let go of his chest, standing normally. 

“I’m crazy.”

“Yeah, you are, but I can totally prove that I’m not a part of your imagination,” with that the man stood up, not bothering to even cover anything, and approached Hoseok, face to face. No, not face-to-face, the man was taller, a whole head taller, and he smiled down at him. Hoseok blinked, too distracted by proximity of a naked stranger in front of him to even think about any actions. He grabbed Hoseok’s hand and brought it to his chest. He felt warm human skin under his fingertips. And a heartbeat. “Hey, again.” 

Hoseok stared at the man’s hand that was holding his own, and the area of his skin he was feeling. This was real. Seemed real.

“Hey,” he whispered automatically and raised his eyes to look at the other man. He was pretty. 

“Call me Hyungwon.”

 

Hoseok sat on the couch with a bottle of beer, looking up as Hyungwon entered the living room pulling Hoseok’s shirt over his head. It was too big on him. 

“So, you’re telling me that you can transform into a cat and I should just accept it as a reality?” Hoseok asked and took a sip from the bottle, voice just calming down from hysteria. Hyungwon sat next to him, and Hoseok jerked, which put a smile on Hyungwon’s face. 

“Uh huh,” he simply said. It wasn’t a big deal at all. He put his head on Hoseok’s shoulder and yawned, stretching his legs and arms in front of him, spreading fingers and toes. Like cats usually do. “Well, technically, not transforming. Just changing an outward appearance,” he took a bottle out of Hoseok’s hands and took a big sip, closing his eyes in pleasure at liquid damping his throat. He really needed food and a drink. Hyungwon asked the other to bring him a bottle. 

Hoseok’s muttered something along the line of ‘can cats even drink alcohol’ and got up. Hyungwon stretched on the couch, taking up all the space with his long body. Hoseok returned and Hyungwon smiled, lifting up his head and giving the other some space to sit. Hoseok didn’t bother wondering what was wrong with him when he wasn’t sure if everything was right with himself in the first place. He handed Hyungwon the bottle and the latter sat up just to lean back on Hoseok’s shoulder, scratching the back of his head on the man’s arm. 

Hoseok internally screamed. There was a guy in his apartment, wearing his clothes, drinking his bear, occupying his couch and shedding black hair all over the floor. Oh, and he had blue eyes and sharp fangs that nearly protruded through his lips if those weren’t so thick. And even though it was a full sized man currently nuzzling his side, he didn’t feel like the presence of his Cat disappeared. 

“You want food?” he asked. Hyungwon nodded and smiled, but didn’t give Hoseok a chance to get up, wrapping his long limbs around him. 

“Later.” They cuddled until evening, watching TV, not saying a word. Hyungwon felt relaxed. Hoseok was trying to figure out how he ended up in this situation. 

 

Hyungwon was objectively very pretty. His black bangs were slightly long and fell over his eyes that radiated bright blue light even in the dark. He had unusual features and he was very fascinating to watch: he moved his perfectly straight nose when he sniffed food he took from the fridge and it twitched from side to side when the man was contemplating what to eat first – not very fresh chicken from the takeout place nearby or dry fish. He also rarely blinked. Hoseok found it creepy. What he also found creepy but strangely addicting to watch, was how Hyungwon opened his mouth, exposing his fangs, and licked over them. Hyungwon opened the fridge again and the ice blue illuminated his face, his own sky blue eyes reflecting the light, and he just stared at the content of his fridge, not blinking a single time and mouth hanging open in an awkward manner, until the fridge signaled that it was maybe time to pick something and close the door. 

“Do you want help?” Hoseok suggested, but Hyungwon just grabbed a pack of cheese and a can of marinated pickles. Hoseok wasn’t sure they were that fresh either. “I don’t think you should eat it…’ he tried to warn but Hyungwon just sad down at the table and put the can down. 

“My stomach is stronger than you think it is,” he quickly said and stuffed his mouth with cold chicken first. Hoseok sat down opposite of him, appetite non-existent, and observed Hyungwon some more. The other paid him no attention, enjoying dry fish, swallowing it with beer, and then taking a slice of fresh salmon Hoseok bought the day before at the fish market a few minutes away from his house. 

Hyungwon was very skinny, which shouldn’t be a surprise considering his lifestyle of a cat and a recent tantrum he threw just earlier today. His wrists seemed limp and he couldn’t coordinate his fingers well.

“Hey, can I use your computer?” Hyungwon asked, mouth still full of food. Hoseok blinked in question, “I haven’t had any access to the outer world in a while, all of my belongings were left in the Gwangju.” Hoseok cocked his head to the side, “That’s where I’m from.” Hoseok mouthed a silent ‘ah’ and nodded. Until it hit him.

“Wait, you traveled all the way here from Gwangju,” he paused to give his question more impact, “in a form of a cat?” he couldn’t quite control the high-pitched exclamation in the end of his sentence.

“Well, yeah,” Hyungwon simply replied, “I was meant to get to Seoul but I ran out of energy and collapsed in the gutter near your house.”

“That makes sense, but,” Hoseok took his phone out of his pocket, “how the hell did you not get bombed on the way here? I heard they smashed Gwangju roads to pieces.” He found the article he was looking for and showed it to Hyungwon, the other glancing at it for a second before shrugging.

“Yeah, they kind of destroyed my home and all, but I escaped before they managed to do anything to me,” the other happily swallowed another piece of raw fish and hummed in pleasure. “I missed food.”

“Hey, I feed you.” Hoseok pouted.

Hyungwon giggled, “You do, but I miss eating a lot of food and stuffing my stomach until it hurts. The best feeling ever.” He finished his beer in quick big gulps and lumped in a chair. “I’m happy,” he smiled, fangs barely scraping his bottom lip. 

Hoseok stopped thinking and just smiled back.

 

“I think it’s okay if you sleep in the same bed with me, Hyungwon,” Hoseok really referred to the man by the name the other told him and Hyungwon smiled brightly. 

“Are you sure it’s okay?” he stood in front of him, very close, breath hitting his face, “I am very clingy.” 

Hoseok gulped but then mentally slapped himself. He had nothing to be afraid of, it was probably the same as sleeping with his Cat. Just with a man ten times bigger than a cat. “It’s okay.” 

Hoseok went to the bathroom, to get himself ready and hopefully find a spare toothbrush and a towel for Hyungwon. He accomplished his mission and returned to the bedroom to find Hyungwon already curled in the duvet, in just his sweatpants and hugging his pillow.

“It smells like strangers.” He mumbled from underneath the covers, and Hoseok half wanted to coo and half to laugh nervously. Hyungwon saw him, he saw his every move in this apartment. He should find it creepy, and he does, but for now his main concern was to make sure Hyungwon was comfortable. “I slept on the streets under heavy rain. You don’t have to worry about anything, you bed is better than anything I could ever ask for,” Hyungwon mumbled again, and Hoseok shuddered. 

“What?” did he read his mind? 

“I can smell you nervousness.” Hoseok sighed in relief. It was just his superb cat sense of smell. Which was still really fucking creepy.

Hoseok turned off the lights and joined Hyungwon in bed, covering himself with the part of the duvet Hyungwon left for him. “So you can smell my every move but can’t even smell yourself.”

“Do I smell like a cat?” Hyungwon asked, voice already sleepy. He climbed out of his covers and snuggled closer to Hoseok, cheek touching his chest. “Does it distract you?”

“No, you don’t, actually,” Hoseok tried to concentrate on the smell around him, but felt nothing. He buried his nose in the other’s black locks and maybe only then felt something slightly inhumane. Maybe he did smell a little bit of a cat. If anything, he mostly just acted like one. 

“Stroke my hair please,” Hyungwon whispered, voice barely audible, and wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s waist. He wondered why that felt so normal.

He tangled his fingers in Hyungwon’s hair and massaged his scalp slightly. He thought he heard Hyungwon purr, but maybe it was an echo of Cat stuck somewhere at the back of his mind. 

“Good night.” He whispered.

Hyungwon didn’t reply, deep asleep already. Hoseok allowed his hands to travel from the man’s head to his neck and even further to his back, fingers trailing along the spine, feeling every bone. He really needed to buy more human food for the other and maybe put in on the lower shelves in case he decided to become a pet again. 

Hoseok still lived with a cat. Otherwise sharing his bed with Hyungwon wouldn’t have felt that normal.

 

Early mornings were his least favourite but Hoseok had work to do. He got off the bed, trying not to wake Hyungwon up, and went to the living room. He didn’t even open his blinds to not disturb the other’s slumber. Hoseok went onto the balcony to hang some wet laundry he left in the washing machine overnight to dry. He caught a movement somewhere next to him. To his left was a half naked man wearing just oversized sweatpants (that Hoseok seemed to recongnise) and smoking, bleached hair falling over his brown eyes. The man smirked at Hoseok. He smirked at him, even though it was the first time he’s ever seen him. Hoseok blinked and left the balcony without a word, mind blank and in trance. Hyunwoo didn’t sleep around with people. Or maybe it wasn’t a person at all.

Hoseok slapped his cheek and shook his head, chasing the thoughts away. He made more rice than usual for breakfast, put a half in a separate bowl and covered it with a kitchen towel, to preserve some heat. He didn’t feel like having a protein shake today, so he made coffee. Did Hyungwon like coffee? He really needed to interrogate the other more. He knew practically everything about Hoseok, having observed the other man from every corner and shelf in his apartment, but Hoseok knew nothing about the other. What if he had murderous tendencies or had anger management issues and that was why he was so aggressive as a cat the other day? 

No, he wasn’t even a cat. 

Hoseok shuddered and finished his coffee, putting the cup in the sink. Maybe Hyungwon was good at cleaning; that would have been very helpful. He probably wasn’t, considering the mess he made yesterday after emptying Hoseok’s fridge, but he still hoped for the best. 

He got ready and dressed. Hyungwon was still sleeping. He checked his equipment and left as quietly as possible. He hesitated in front of the door, contemplating leaving the keys inside and let Hyungwon do whatever he pleased – he probably felt trapped in the apartment, having lived there for a whole month and a couple of days without going out. Hoseok felt his phone vibrating and he cursed under his breath, hurrying up with the keys and running down. He left Hyungwon alone. He told himself to return home as soon as possible and maybe take Hyungwon out for dinner. 

 

Hyungwon woke up, felt nothing next to him, cuddled into the blanket for warmth and heard Hoseok cocking his gun in the living room. He was leaving, and Hyungwon was grateful that he left the blinds down. He heard the door closing, and Hoseok still standing behind it, keys clinking. He finally left in a hurry and Hyungwon smiled, stretching and moaning at the feel. He had his whole human body all to himself. He jumped off the bed and headed to the kitchen, took a bottle of water from the fridge and downed about a half of it, only then groaning at the cold feeling running down his body. He ran a tongue over his teeth as he observed the content of the fridge for something edible early in the morning and shrugged, having found nothing. He smelled something warm from the table behind and found a bowl of rice. Hoseok ate a lot of rice. Hyungwon cooed out loud at Hoseok’s kind gesture and stuffed his face with food at least out of politeness. He would rather eat a whole chicken but he finished all of it last night. 

He felt better after eating and he hopped to the balcony happily, already hearing Minhyuk’s cigarette smoldering with every drag. 

“Someone’s happy tonight, huh,” his neighbour said, smiling. Hyungwon gratefully accepted a cigarette and a lighter and couldn’t help but smile back, wide and bright in such a grey cold morning. 

“You wouldn’t believe what happened,” Hyungwon started and looked at Minhyuk, actually encouraging the other to recite what happened. 

“You revealed yourself as you two were passionately fighting and you shared a bed. Congrats.” 

“It feels amazing walking around and taking his stuff freely without worrying about his reaction to weirdly smelling t-shirts.”

“I saw him this morning,” Minhyuk casually said, and Hyungwon gaped. 

“And he was okay with it? Didn’t you say Hyunwoo only sleeps with his work?”

Minhyuk choked on smoke and laughed, “I think your man was still shocked from having another human being in his apartment that he didn’t even bother figuring out who I was.”

Hyungwon just eyed at him, looking through Minhyuk until another smile graced his lips, tips of his fangs slightly peeking from under his top lip. “He is indeed my man now.” He simply said and they stayed in silence for the rest of their daily smoking session. 

When Hyungwon went inside he immediately headed to the bathroom, craving hot water and this pleasantly smelling shower gel Hoseok used on his skin. Even though he didn’t smell that much of an animal, especially compared to Minhyuk, and Hoseok didn’t possess the same strong sense of smell, he wanted to get rid of it completely to feel more human. More human for Hoseok. 

Hyungwon always spent a lot of time in the shower, mainly because this always allowed him to be alone for a while, and time to himself was something he treasured a lot. Especially after all that time he spent with his previous lover. 

As soon as the water turned on, his thoughts were flooded with something he wished to stay oblivious to. Of course Hoseok was his owner, factually, he didn’t even doubt that. He just doubted if Hoseok himself realised it. What if he hated Hyungwon’s personality and preferred him much more as a silent pet that didn’t occupy much space? What if Hoseok would never like him as a person? Would never want him the way Hyungwon needed him to. What if Hyungwon stayed as an unwanted pet forever? He would have to leave Hoseok for good, even if the other man was everything his previous owner was not. 

He couldn’t let Hoseok end up like him. 

It was the middle of the day and Hyungwon was overwhelmed. Solitude was good but not when it kept destroying him like that. He got dressed in Hoseok’s loose shirt and same sweatpants and stood in the living room, not knowing what to do. He really didn’t want to be alone right now. 

“Minhyuk?” he called quietly. 

“Mm?” he heard an indistinct reply from the other side of the wall.

“Do you want to talk?”

“I don’t know. Do you?”

“Let’s get out.” Hyungwon heard shuffling in the other apartment and went on the balcony. Minhyuk appeared a minute after him. 

“What’s up?” he asked. 

“Been thinking about Hoseok.” Hyungwon honestly confessed. It was amazing how he and Minhyuk were stuck in such similar situation. Both have been running away from pain for years, both responsible for murder, both living with dangerous men who could kill them with a single bullet, and both so desperately unwanted. 

“You ever thought about how he can shoot you if he wanted to?” Minhyuk asked, not really expecting an answer. He knew already. 

“He wouldn’t hurt me.” In reality, he didn’t know for sure. Neither of them did. 

“It’s so easy to throw us away.” Hyungwon sniffed at the melancholy in Minhyuk’s voice. 

“That’s why we leave first.”

Minhyuk smiled, insincerely, and shook his head at the stupidity of the situation they both found themselves stuck in. “We don’t always leave because we want to.” Minhyuk looked Hyungwon directly in the eyes, intense and warning, “He saw the beast in you.”

Hyungwon lowered his head and chewed on his bottom lip. If he lost himself, he would lose Hoseok too. It hasn’t been that long since the last time he lost control, his animal essence was still feeling the freedom it achieved after being let out. It ate him on the inside. It tortured him at night. Hoseok made him feel safe and secure, sane even, and if he scared him away, he couldn’t even imagine the consequences he would have to face. 

“What if he raises his gun at you?” Minhyuk asked, this time expecting an answer, the only right answer. Hyungwon licked over his teeth and stretched his hand, looking at it before clenching in into a fist. 

“Then I’ll rip his heart out.”


	2. ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is slightly shorter and isnt that action packed or kitten packed, but fairly informative. 
> 
> thank you for kudos and comments! i read them all but it feels fairer to not raise the count so i dont reply, but i really appreciate it all!

Blow ‘em up, was what he said before turning around and walking away. Blow ‘em up, his followers repeated and roared, rampaged and raged through the streets, threw explosives into every alleyway and every open door. Police wasn’t going to get them arrested. Hell, the police wasn’t even able to catch them. There were too many of them, one gang out of hundreds, one soul out of thousands with the same destructive mind and weapons. According to their plan, by the time they reached Seoul, the government was supposed to surrender. They had time, they had a huge stock of weapons. They could easily threaten anyone. They didn’t plan on killing anyone specifically – if civilians died, it was their fault for getting in their way. And they tolerated nothing that got in their way. 

United we fall, divided we stand, was what they believed. 

 

Hoseok came back home to find Cat sitting in front of his laptop on the floor. 

“Hey, Ca—uh,” he frowned, realising that something was wrong. The cat gave him a glance. “Hyungwon.” The cat just stared at him. He looked unamused, if he could judge the cat’s face at all, “Why are you on the floor with my laptop?” Hoseok took off his jacket and his boots and put his gun and keys on the table. Hyungwon just kept staring, until he pressed space with his cat paw and turned back to stare at Hoseok again. He was watching something. 

“I appreciate you a lot, but this is just weird,” Hoseok honestly confessed and Hyungwon blinked in a very human manner. Hoseok kept looking at his cat and gave up, “I have an announcement, which I hope will make you happy.” Hyungwon meowed. It was a rare occasion that he made any sounds as a cat at all, and Hoseok was caught off guard. He quickly collected himself and smiled, “I’m taking you out for dinner.”

Hyungwon’s ears twitched and he jumped on all four abruptly and ran to the bedroom. Hoseok waited patiently for the cracking sounds to stop and smiled apologetically to no one in particular. He wondered why it felt so normal even though it was only the second time he witnessed Hyungwon do the weird magic. It was magic, right? He wasn’t tricked into believing the impossible, right? 

The latter appeared from the bedroom, sweatpants barely hanging on his hips, and pulled a t-shirt over his head. “We’re going out?” he sounded more excited than a kid that was taken to a theme park, and Hoseok nodded actively with a smile. 

“We are, I thought you’d like the idea.”

Hyungwon ran up to him and he was suddenly too close. “I love the idea.” Hoseok thought he saw his hips wiggling. 

“I’m sorry I came empty-handed. I didn’t manage to get you anything,” Hoseok felt sorry because Hyungwon literally had nothing. 

“You are not obliged to give me anything,” he ran his fingers across Hoseok’s chest, “Besides, I love your clothes more,” he bit his bottom lip and smiled even wider before hopping in the direction of the bedroom. 

Hoseok followed him suit and found Hyungwon rummaging through his closet. “Want me to choose something for you?” he asked, approaching the other male. 

Hyungwon took a shirt and cocked his head to the side, judging the design. He threw it back into the closet and Hoseok noticed two messy piles of clothes in the closet. He didn’t find a decent reason to get angry. 

Hyungwon stopped in action, giving up his search for an acceptable outfit that was approximately his size. “All of your clothes are too big for me,” he informed Hoseok and stretched his lips, throwing this fact in Hoseok’s face. When he hid his lips like that, his face looked even smaller and cuter, and Hoseok had the urge to pinch his cheeks. And maybe run his thumb over the other’s lips to feel how plump they really were. Their odd shape was so fascinating it always stole all of his attention.

When Hoseok didn’t say anything and just stared at the man, Hyungwon blinked twice and smiled properly, silently nudging Hoseok to maybe help him. 

“Ah, right,” Hoseok snapped out of his trance and frowned. He just stared at the other like an enchanted kid, and it was not his typical behaviour. He chased the thoughts away and dug deeper into the closet. He found an unused black shirt that was too tight on him and a pair of black jeans that might require a belt, but at least they seemed to be long enough to cover Hyungwon’s legs. “Take that, I’ll find you some unused underwear,” Hoseok handed him the clothes and crouched next to the drawer in the closet to find some boxers he hopefully never wore. 

“It’s fine, I can deal another evening without underwear,” Hyungwon told him nonchalantly and Hoseok turned to argue with him, tell him it was cold outside and he didn’t want his balls frozen, but the words never left his mouth when he saw Hyungwon pulling his jeans up his naked legs and zipping them straight after. No underwear then. 

Hoseok tried not to look when Hyungwon took his t-shirt off and pulled the black shirt on, but failed in his mission and ended up observing how the other’s long fingers did the buttons one by one. Hyungwon suddenly looked at him and smiled, showing off his outfit. Hoseok had to snap out of his trance for the second time in the last five minutes. 

“Yeah, looks good,” he awkwardly said and got up to find some clothes for himself too. “Socks are in this drawer and I’ll get you some shoes in a second.” He turned to look at Hyungwon one last time, realising something, “We should do something about your eyes though.”

The other just blinked, “We can pretend I’m wearing contacts, no biggie.” he shrugged. 

“Hyungwon, your pupils are vertical and become non-existent when you look at something bright,” Hoseok calmly said although, really, he felt panic rising in his throat. He wanted to scream because he was going out with a literal cat with huge blue eyes that gave him a scary predatory gaze, disregarding how soft his face might look. 

“I’m wearing contacts with slit pupils, no biggie.” he shrugged again and smiled. When Hoseok didn’t reply, he smiled wider to expose his teeth.

“Shit, you have fangs too,” Hoseok sighed and just turned towards his closet to finally find some clothes to wear. 

 

When they were finally dressed and ready to leave, Hyungwon felt restless with excitement and fidgeted with his fingers while waiting for Hoseok to put his shoes on. He bounced in one place, wrapping himself up in the warm winter jacket Hoseok gave him. He really didn’t need it, his animal body warmth still buried somewhere under his skin to keep his human self alive, but Hoseok insisted. 

“Ready to go?” Hoseok asked, getting up and checking himself one last time in the mirror. Hyungwon smiled and nodded. They left the apartment, and while Hoseok was fumbling with his keys, Hyungwon heard a low muffled bark somewhere from behind the wall. He snickered at Minhyuk, because now Hyungwon really was much happier, having revealed himself to his owner, and his neighbour was still suffering. He heard the dog groan, and quietly shushed him under his breath, knowing that the other can hear him anyways. “What’s that?” Hoseok asked, looking clueless as to why Hyungwon was smiling.

“Nothing, just your neighbour’s dog is a little bit jealous and disappointed that we didn’t take him with us,” Hyungwon smiled wider, showing the tips of his fangs, and Hoseok just blinked. He had given up trying to understand what the hell was going on around him. Minhyuk barked again, and the two males heard Hyunwoo’s, “Dog, stop,” from the other apartment. The dog whined, and Hyungwon giggled. 

They left the building and Hoseok stopped right in front of the entrance door, “By the way, this is the code you put into the keypad to get inside.” He showed him the sequence and turned back to Hyungwon, “I’m just telling you in case you want to go out sometime.” Hoseok smiled awkwardly, not really knowing why, and scratched the back of his head, and Hyungwon smiled back, gratefulness and excitement in his eyes. 

“What restaurant are we going to?” he asked as they moved along the street, linking arms with Hoseok and breathing louder than usually, inhaling as much of cool evening air as possible. It was fresher than back in Gwangju for sure. 

“It’s a surprise.” Hoseok simply replied and Hyungwon clicked his tongue playfully. 

“This area seems really nice and safe,” Hyungwon noted and looked around, eyes tugging at every sign. It was relatively empty, but rare strangers passed by them, unbothered and minding their own business. This is something Hyungwon always wanted – strangers that paid him no attention. 

“It is, that’s why there are so many soldiers around here. It’s better for us to live somewhere where it’s peaceful and quiet.” Hoseok replied, and Hyungwon’s eyes lit up at the other man’s sudden eloquence. 

“You were a soldier. Did you serve in army for long?” 

“I enlisted at eighteen, served the mandatory time and just… went from there. I don’t have many people in my life to hold on to, so I stayed where I thought I had a chance to do something useful, even if I could be sent to meet my death at any time.” Hoseok paused, recollecting the past years of his life. “I had special training, and was hired by the private military company, and now I just…” he looked up at the sky, “do stuff for them. The past years it was just dealing with gangs and even mafias and all sorts of underground activities, because we are supported by the government and have a bigger chance of succeeding while staying fairly low-key,” he looked at Hyungwon and smiled playfully, “Something the government doesn’t want you to know.” 

Hyungwon just admired Hoseok’s slightly timid expression as he talked about his work, “You are really cool, Hoseok.”

This seemed to take the other by surprise, and he abruptly turned to look in front of him, blush creeping on his cheeks. It was dark outside, only street lamps illuminating their way, but Hyungwon could see everything, and this made him feel even more embarrassed. 

“Thank you.” Hoseok quietly said under his breath and Hyungwon snuggled closer to his side, hugging his arm.

 

They took their jackets off as they entered a fancy looking restaurant Hoseok brought them to. Pleasing strong smell that immediately surrounded them made Hyungwon’s stomach grumble, and he hold onto it as they were taken to their table. A waiter gave them menus and Hyungwon’s eyes ran along the lines, lingering at every mention of beef tartar, fried shrimps, beef carpaccio, sirloin steak, fillet mignon, chicken skewers, beef lasagna, chicken fillet, beefsteak, beef, steak, beef… he really wanted meat. Preferably a lot.

“There’s so much meat I can’t even choose,” he said, a little disappointed. He could eat a whole cow, but his stomach might tell him to fuck off. 

“That’s why I brought you to the European restaurant, so you could savour the biggest steak you could possibly find,” Hoseok smiled gently, amused at Hyungwon’s lost expression as his eyes run across the menu hungrily. 

“Agh, help me Hoseok!” he whined, throwing the menu on the table. 

Hoseok shushed him, smiling wider, “Okay, okay, relax. Let me see what’s good in here.” 

“Everything is good,” he leaned back on his chair, tongue peaking slightly. He licked over his teeth as he loved to do so often, and Hoseok had to remind himself to look back at the menu to pick a steak for the starving cat. 

“Hm, I guess a T-bone would be good, it’s big and medium rare should be just fine,” Hoseok mumbled under his breath. 

“Rare is the best,” Hyungwon inserted and Hoseok shuddered. The other was a real animal. Does he eat humans raw too? No, cats don’t eat humans. Well, he doesn’t seem to be just a cat exactly…

“Okay!” Hoseok slammed the menu close and smiled, hiding the ends of his lips and puffing his cheeks. This was something Hyungwon did often, why did he literally recreate his expression? “So, uh, I guess you’d like a beef tartar for a starter and then I’ll order you a huge T-bone steak, rare, as you asked.”

“Perfect,” Hyungwon said, calm and relaxed, eyes fixed on Hoseok and a light smile tugging at his lips. 

 

When the food arrived, Hyungwon engulfed his meal in a second. 

“Gosh, I love raw meat,” he moaned, mouth full of tiny pieces of seasoned raw meat. He left the avocado salad on the side of his plate and went straight for the glass of white wine after swallowing. Hoseok has just begun eating.

He should feel uncomfortable at the other’s manner-less behaviour, but could only secretly grin at the other’s pure joy he received from food. 

When the waiter put the steak in front of him, Hyungwon tried his best not to drool. He stabbed the meat with his knife and cut a big piece and stuffed it into his mouth. 

“You can’t even imagine how much I missed proper human food,” Hyungwon moaned at the taste in his mouth and rolled his eyes in pleasure. “I love food.” 

Hoseok chuckled, “Seems like I’ll have to buy more products from the butcher.”

“Just don’t buy mice and birds, they’re disgusting,” Hyungwon said like it was a normal piece of information and Hoseok nearly choked on his wine. 

“You eat mice and birds,” he deadpanned, wiping his face with a napkin. 

“No, I had to eat them,” Hyungwon corrected him like, once again, it was no big deal, “When I was on the road, I was alone and weak and had to catch pigeons and rats near the trash. They’re gross, I’m happy humans don’t eat them.” He just continued to eat his steak and moan occasionally. 

“Uh huh, we, humans, really do care about what we put in our stomachs.” Hoseok said, not really paying attention to his words as the images of Hyungwon ripping a tiny animal apart flashed his mind. He was a cat at that point, he had to remind himself. “You ever tried a human?” he asked out of nowhere and mentally slapped himself

Hyungwon tried not to choke on a piece of meat in his mouth, stopping his laughter from erupting. He swallowed with a lot of effort and laughed out loud, holding onto his stomach. Hoseok gave him a questioning look and Hyungwon replied with a teasing one, not answering his question. 

 

They walked back home with their arms linked again, laughing at stories from Hoseok’s life. Hyungwon asked a stranger for a cigarette and since there was not a single soul on the street, smoked as they strolled. 

They soon reached home and Hyungwon inserted the passcode, showing Hoseok that he remembered everything and listened to him diligently. Hoseok didn’t realise the fatigue that spread in his limbs until he took his jacket and shoes off and crashed on the couch in the living room. Hyungwon soon joined him and snuggled to his side as he did all the time. 

“Let’s watch a film and go to bed?” Hoseok suggested, wrapping his arm around the other man’s shoulder.

“Mhm,” Hyungwon mumbled and pressed his face against Hoseok’s neck. “Just something interesting this time please,” Hoseok shoved him slightly and pouted, a little bit upset at Hyungwon’s remark about his film choices. 

“Well, what do you want to watch?” he asked, nearly accusingly. 

“I don’t know, a thriller or something, they help me relax,” Hyungwon said in a sleepy tone, and Hoseok sighed in confusion for the hundredth time over the two days he spent together with Hyungwon the Human. 

This Hyungwon the Human still could not let go of his cat habits. He made himself comfortable on the couch and rested his head on Hoseok’s lap, his one hand dangling and knuckles brushing the floor. He lied on his stomach and Hoseok could only see the small part of his profile as the light from the TV illuminated his face. 

He saw Hyungwon’s nose crinkle and the man brought his hand to his ear, scratching it vigorously. 

“Shit, can you please scratch here,” he asked, and Hoseok obliged, moving his short nails back and forth on the soft skin behind Hyungwon’s ear. “Oh yeah, that feels good.” Hyungwon moaned and relaxed into the touch.

“What are you, a cat?” Hoseok chuckled. Hyungwon quickly turned to lie on his back and stared at him, face deadpan. Hoseok felt a sudden wave of shock passing through his body as his eyes widened in strange realization, “Shit, you are a cat. You are actually a cat.” 

“Yes, I am.” Hyungwon said shortly but didn’t avert his gaze from Hoseok’s funny stupid face. He breathed out a laugh and lied back on his stomach, side of his face on Hoseok’s lap, cheek squished and lips pursued forward. Hoseok chuckled and leaned back on the couch, looking at but not really focusing on the screen. 

He stroked Hyungwon’s hair, burying his fingers in the other’s long black locks on the back of his head, the other hand resting on his back and occasionally sliding from his nape, along his protruding spine and ending right where Hyungwon would have a tail if he was an even weirder creature. Good he didn’t actually have a tail. 

Hoseok’s fingers hovered over the scar on his side and Hyungwon winced. 

“Who left the scar there?” he asked, deciding that it was finally time for Hyungwon to reveal at least something about himself, “Was it your previous owner?”

Hyungwon hummed ambiguously and his expression looked melancholic, if his more pouting than usual lips and a glint in his eyes were an indication of melancholy. He didn’t seem to be particularly bothered by the question though. 

“No,” he simply said, voice sleepy and lazy, “it’s my clan’s mark. I got it when I was very little, I don’t even remember the pain – this is how little I was. Everyone gets it after reaching a certain stage in development as a kitten or a baby. The mark is really important. Even if your clan is broken, or you are separated from it, you are still part of the clan. You are part of the clan you were born in for the rest of your life.” Hyungwon finished his story, looking absolutely unbothered by it, unlike Hoseok, who didn’t expect things to be that complicated. And he hasn’t even asked him about the important bits yet. 

“How did… this whole thing start?”

“Magic, Hoseok,” Hyungwon’s dangling hand was brushing against the floor as he swayed it. He buried himself deeper into Hoseok’s legs, “It’s all wicked ancient magic.” Hoseok brushed the other’s hair out of his face to take a better look at it, but he seemed absolutely calm, apathetic even. Maybe he was tired of telling the same story over and over again. Hoseok didn’t know how many owners he had before him, “Once upon a time, when the rulers of the Three Kingdoms, many-many centuries ago, were cruel and evil, a certain group of peasants wanted to escape their emperor and merge with nature, because the emperor was not cruel to it. It was the only way humans could escape hierarchy and poverty. In a way, our progenitors were delinquents, criminals even, who wanted to hide from law and social order. They found a witch that lived very far away from the civilization, and asked her to help them. The men – and those were men, of course – each brought their own prey, an animal whose form they would have had to take. A wolf, a lynx, an eagle. The witch did as she was told – move their spirits into the animals’ bodies and set them free. The only thing the men didn’t know about the witch was that she was evil. She merged the spirits and saved their human form, giving them two essences and two bodies, but one mind. In exchange for the ability to live in two worlds, she brought pain upon their bones as they transformed, and separated their life count so they couldn’t choose one life over the other. They had to find a balance or they would lose themselves. So, she technically cursed them.” Hyungwon clicked his tongue and turned to lay on his side, curling into a ball, head still comfortably on Hoseok’s lap and eyes focused on the screen. “And then they reproduced and natural selection happened and we developed into this,” he curved his upper lip in what could be perceived as disgust – Hoseok couldn’t quite decipher, “domestic meows.” He looked up at Hoseok and gave him a slight smile, the one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Ta-da.”

Hoseok swallowed a lump in his throat he didn’t realise he had and stroked Hyungwon’s cheek gently. “A lynx…” he mumbled under his breath, “Sounds like you all had it tough.”

Hyungwon hummed and turned back towards the screen. 

“How old are you, actually?” Hoseok asked, remembering something about two lives. Was Hyungwon immortal?

“Twenty three,” so he wasn’t that young. Hoseok would give him nineteen at most, judging by his behaviour and appearance, “but I feel like I’ve lived longer than that.” Hyungwon continued. “We age in the body we are at the moment. If I spend a whole year in my human body, I get one year older, but my cat body would stay the same. That’s why we have to balance. If I die right now, lying on your couch, I wouldn’t really die. I will live the rest of my life as a thoughtless cat.” He shuffled to look at Hoseok again, “You know how you humans believe cats have nine lives? Well, we have two very long and useless lives.” Hyungwon granted him another insincere smile and shuffled back to lie on the side. 

Hoseok just absentmindedly combed through his hair. Hyungwon closed his eyes at the touch and relaxed, expression truly calm now and peaceful. He didn’t want to disturb the comfort the other felt at his touch, but he had to know one last thing, and then they could go to sleep.

“What happened with your previous owner?”

He expected Hyungwon to tense at the question, but the other remained relaxed.

“A lot of things. It was a good relationship; it was good for a really long while. Until one day it got worse. He got worse. He started losing his mind and became more abusive towards me.” He shifted to lie more comfortably and hugged Hoseok’s leg as much as he could in his position. “You know, the point of abusive relationship is that you don’t always realise it’s abusive. You don’t notice the harm the other person is bringing until it’s too late. I mean, what can you? You love them and they claim to love you back and they always, always take care of you afterwards.”

Hoseok felt uncomfortable, “But what happened to him?”

Hyungwon lied on his back and look Hoseok in the eyes, his own gaze dark and unreadable in the dark.

“I killed him.” 

Hoseok swallowed. “You what?”

Hyungwon smiled gently, like an adult would at a little child that was scared of imaginary monsters under his bed, “I killed him, Hoseok.” 

He brought his hands to Hoseok’s face and stroked his cheeks with his thumbs. Hoseok had to collect himself.

“I mean, I’m just surprised, didn’t know you were capable of something like that, with your body and stuff,” he blurted out, feeling his cheeks growing hot. He himself killed men on the daily basis but couldn’t deal with the thought of the man on his lap doing the same. He was as gentle as a kitten. He was a kitten to him. 

Hyungwon laughed, “Well, the other me is.” 

Hoseok felt the blood flowing from his cheeks and his heart beating faster. He wanted to control his emotions, he didn’t want Hyungwon to feel them, but it was too late. 

Hyungwon removed his hands from Hoseok’s face. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“It’s okay.”

“I scared you.”

“No, come on,” Hoseok scoffed, trying to look unbothered, “I’m not scared of some animal.”

“Hoseok, it’s not the same as kicking a cat or shooting a person,” Hyungwon said, voice gentle yet serious, “Beasts have so much more living energy. It’s so hard to kill one. They are feral beasts, Hoseok, they are wild and dangerous, they attack you and they tear you apart.” He averted his gaze, biting his lower lip, “It’s a miracle I transformed back without harming you.”

Hoseok didn’t need any further explanation to the scene he witnessed the other day. For some reason, it all made sense. “It’s fine. Honestly. I wouldn’t be able to shoot you even if you were about to tear my head off.”

“But I wouldn’t be able to stop once my mind programs itself to kill you.” Hyungwon looked genuinely terrified and he buried his face in Hoseok’s stomach, curling more into himself.

“Resist it then. You didn’t kill me, Hyungwon, so you can control it.” He caressed the other’s head. 

“I can’t think in this state of mind. I can’t control it.” He whispered, voice trembling just a little bit. “And I didn’t kill you because I didn’t transform fully. This was the only reason I managed to stop.”

“Okay, but didn’t you still recognise me? Maybe you could understand that it was me and stopped. You know me, you know me much better than I know you.”

Hoseok stopped himself before his words sounded any more suggestive. He didn’t want to hint on anything. 

“Of course I know you, Hoseok. I know you well and that’s why…” Hyungwon turned to look at him again, eyes wet but so, so beautiful and sincere. The way he felt emotions left Hoseok speechless, “that’s why I was able to stop.” He finished and smiled. Hoseok knew it wasn’t what he wanted to say but let the other man be. He forced him to say so much already. 

 

Hyungwon fell asleep on the couch with his head on Hoseok’s lap and he had to carry the other to the bed. Good thing Hyungwon was a lightweight and felt like nothing, despite his long limbs. 

Hoseok tucked Hyungwon in bed, not bothering to get him out of his clothes, and went to the bathroom to get himself ready for bed too. He returned to find Hyungwon sitting in the dark and sleepily undoing his buttons, eyes closed and hair messy.

“Let me help you,” Hoseok offered and sat next to Hyungwon, his own hands over his, undoing every button. The only source of light was the light from the bathroom that seeped through the door that was left ajar. Hyungwon opened his eyes and looked at Hoseok from under his heavy eyelids. Hoseok pulled the shirt off his shoulders. Hyungwon didn’t elaborate on his actions, just sitting in the bed sheets and staring at Hoseok. “You should take it off,” Hoseok quietly said, “it’s dirty and you won’t be comfortable sleeping in it.”

Hyungwon leaned forward, and Hoseok stopped breathing for a second and shut his eyes, not really realising what he was expecting. He felt soft locks brushing against his skin somewhere below his neck and he opened his eyes to find Hyungwon asleep on his chest. He chuckled and took the other’s shirt off completely, throwing it somewhere he couldn’t see. He definitely decided to not bother with the jeans and just lied down with Hyungwon pressed against his chest. He felt lips touching his skin and eyelashes flattering ever so slightly, tickling him. Hoseok listened to Hyungwon’s quiet breaths and felt strange comfort he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

 

His ex-lover’s brown soft couch was standing in the middle of the room. It was ripped at the seams and had a strange faded ornament. It was comfortable though. Hyungwon loved sitting on it, alone, in the middle of the day when the room was illuminated and the chances of getting scared of moving shadows were reduced to the minimum. He still flinched when a hand slapped his shoulder. 

“Hey, cat, enjoying the sunshine?” a low mocking voice asked behind him, and Hyungwon opened his eyes to immediately catch on the tall figure appearing from behind the couch and walking towards the door. “I’m leaving,” he grabbed the keys from the bowl and clinked them for Hyungwon to see, “and taking those with me.” He grinned at Hyungwon’s terrified expression.

“But—“

“No,” he said as if it was obvious he was going to do it and Hyungwon’s surprise was unnecessary, “you didn’t deserve to go out today, Hyungwon baby.” With that he left and Hyungwon didn’t notice the new seam he left on the couch as he sank his nails into the material.

“Hyungwon, fuck off,” he pushed him off his shoulder as Hyungwon tried to snuggle closer and see what he was doing. Hyungwon left to the kitchen. His fingers lingered on the butcher’s knife and he gathered all his willpower to let it go and calm down. He grabbed a glass and instead of filling it with he water went back to the living room, stopping in the doorway. The unsuspecting man worked on his laptop and was vulnerable, open from all sides. Hyungwon inhaled and exhaled and returned to the kitchen, glass back in the cupboard. 

“Kitten, are you going to bed?” the voice called for him softly. Hyungwon didn’t reply, hugging the pillow. He felt the other’s weight on the other side of the bed and breathed out when a hand landed on his shoulder, turning him to look at him. “Kitten, I need you tonight.”

He wasn’t going to say no. Not even to the hand on his throat causing him to suffocate, not even to the slap on his thigh when he closed his legs too much that always left a red mark on his skin, not even to the hand tugging at his hair with too much force when he pulled him away from his erection just to throw him back on the bed and beat out the air out of his lungs. 

He wasn’t going to say no when he knew he would always receive a caring treatment afterwards, a wet towel all over his skin that might have been a little bit too cold for him, or fingers that played with his hair and massaged his scalp. He would always get his “I love you, kitten”, before he drifted off to sleep. 

“I really do love you, kitten,” he would say in the morning in the softest voice before leaving to work without his keys, and this greatly contrasted with, “I will fucking kill you if you do this again, Hyungwon, I swear,” that he shouted with his eyes red and veins popping on his forehead and his neck after Hyungwon threw a glass in his direction after another insult. 

They always apologised, they always had sex after a fight, and he always kissed the marks he left on Hyungwon’s skin, whispering words of love and repentance. 

Until one day they stopped, and it was impossible to carry on.

“Why don’t you just leave, Hyungwon?” he said, with so much control not to explode. 

“You own me.”

“What if I disown you?”

Hyungwon breathed out a laugh at his words, “It’s not up to you to decide.”

Things got out of control when he grabbed a rifle, always loaded, and pointed it at the cat. He fired when it was not a cat anymore, he fired again when the beast approached him, but he missed every single time; every single bullet went flying past the fast approaching animal. He dropped his rifle when sharp teeth pierced through his throat, and the screams merged with the beastly roar, resonating off the walls, hitting him back with double force. Soon it was only the animal’s wild growls that filled the room, and tearing of the flesh, and blood spraying on the floor. The animal’s last wail was full of pain and despair and then suddenly everything died down. 

Hyungwon managed to get out of the other body, breathing hard and covered in human remains. When he regained his thinking mind back, momentary euphoria filled his body and he smiled into nothingness. He spared one final glance on the distorted body and went to the bathroom to take a shower. He gathered all his belongings, threw them in a pile next to the body and took a lighter. He wished to burn everything, everything he owned and everything that reminded him of the now past. 

He diminished back into the cat and left the burning apartment through the window, as he had done so many times before. He prepared himself for two things: a long journey and a premature death. If he finished the first one, he overcame the other. If he failed, he died not knowing what real happiness felt like. 

 

Hyungwon woke up with Hoseok’s arms wrapped around him. He listened to his heartbeat, his rhythmic breathing, his light snores, and smiled, because maybe he could finally feel what real happiness felt like. 

He heard Hoseok’s phone vibrating and he raised himself a little to look over at the bedside table where the phone was to see the message notification. 

Gang’s in town. We got the mission to clear them all. Special forces will be assigned to you. We start in two days. Always be on guard. Maybe leave some extra food for your cat – you might be gone for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is slightly weird and short because the next chapter promises to be too focused on the actual relationships rather than whats going on in terms of the plot so i tried to push it a bit therefore the ending is the way it is please dont kill me
> 
> hmu on twt @chaeleggiewon


	3. iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i sincerely apologise for taking ages
> 
> i hope the chapter is still okay despite being a bit abrupt, but its very important to characters relationship!
> 
> e rated scene is not too e rated because it doesnt fit the fanfic, so you get a weird emotional mess. also, its not explicit, but just to remind, hyungwon was in abusive relationship, so like it kinda explains some parts that seem unfitting? too sudden? yeah idk
> 
> thank you so much for waiting! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! enjoy?

Hyungwon woke up when Hoseok was already gone. It was a little past midday, and he didn’t bother getting out of bed just yet. He stretched his spine and his limbs, a mix of a moan and a meow coming out of his mouth, and he lumped back on the bed, too lazy to get up. Hoseok wouldn’t be gone for too long – he had some serious work coming, so they wouldn’t keep him on the base until late evening, Hyungwon was sure. He heard Minhyuk shuffling onto the balcony, yawning and grumbling, and he wondered what happened last night. He was so engrossed in the warmth of Hoseok’s body as he lied on his lap the other evening that he managed to isolate his hearing from the other apartment. He could possibly miss a big drama. 

He climbed off the bed and went straight to the living room, still in the same pair of jeans, hair messy and face puffy. He drank a glass of water, sniffed the plate with microwaved takeout chicken Hoseok kindly left for him and decided to eat later. He was still filled with raw meat. He put on a jacket that was always on the hanger by the entrance and went out onto the balcony to greet a sleepy, tired-looking Minhyuk.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked immediately as he reached for the pack of cigarettes in the other’s hand. 

Minhyuk leaned on the rail and breathed the cold air. He was only wearing Hyunwoo’s sweatpants he claimed to be his own, but not a shiver passed through his body. Hyungwon got a little bit jealous but he would never admit to feeling this way towards a dog. 

“I’m okay,” he said and took a drag, not sparing a single glance at Hyungwon. The latter leaned on the rail too and took his longer body as an advantage to really look Minhyuk in the eyes. 

“Don’t lie.”

Minhyuk sniffed, “It’s so cold,” he wiped his nose, “and I’m so miserable.”

“You’re not,” Hyungwon leaned closer, shoulders bumping with the other man, “tell me what is it.”

“Hyunwoo’s going on a mission, I’m terrified, and he still doesn’t know who I really am, and if he dies he will never know, and I will stay forever alone, and I will have to find a new home, and I will be lonely again, and I will never love anyone as much as I love him, and, and—“ he sniffed again, tip of his nose red and eyes glossy, cigarette forgotten as he rambled and rambled, “and I don’t know what to do, what if I reveal myself and he gets so shocked he leaves, and I will never see him again, or what if he shoots me, or – I don’t even know anymore!” tears rolled down his cheeks, and he wiped them quickly with his free hand, “I’m a coward.”

Minhyuk calmed his breathing and took a longer drag, holding it in his lungs for a while too, and taking his time letting in out. Hyungwon was quiet, and it was enough for another man to feel understood and supported. 

“Shit, I need to calm down, I can’t let Joo see me like this when he arrives,” Minhyuk wiped his eyes and ruffled his long bangs so they fall over them. He turned to Hyungwon and smiled weakly but genuinely, “I got something for you. Well, not me, Joo did, but I asked him to.”

Hyungwon smiled back and wrapped his free hand over the other’s shoulder, the latter giving in and leaning against his side. Minhyuk was getting cold, his malnourished human body losing its strength much quicker. They stood in silence for a while until they saw a familiar tick-shaped figure flapping in the fog in the distance. 

Minhyuk sniffed one last time and straightened, going through his hair once again. “Joo’s here.”

A black big raven sat on the railing. Something wrapped with a thin rope was hanging from its beak. Minhyuk smiled and took the parcel from the bird, petting its relatively small head. 

“Thank you, Joo. I promise I’ll feed you dinner at some point,” the raven croaked, and if it had a human face, Hyungwon would imagine him raising his eyebrows and rolling his eyes. “In some distant future,” Minhyuk smiled bashfully and stroked the bird’s small beak, before the raven croaked once again and flew away. Hyungwon thought Joo would be really cool as a person. He had to meet him some time.

Minhyuk looked down at two packs of cigarettes in his hands and stretched one of them towards Hyungwon. “Here’s a pack for you. You can be an independent little kitten now,” Minhyuk pouted in a cute manner and made a funny face, which got him a light slap from Hyungwon on his bare shoulder.

“Shut up,” Hyungwon accepted the pack and smiled, “Thank you. And tell Joo he is my hero and I will definitely feed him dinner at some point,” He winked and left the balcony, chuckling slightly at Minhyuk’s cursing hitting his back. 

 

Hoseok came back home around lunchtime to find Hyungwon on the couch with his laptop and in his favourite sweatpants and a t-shirt. His hair was slightly wet and long strands were falling over his eyes, but he didn’t seem to notice as he focused on the screen. 

“Hey, Hyungwon,” Hoseok said, throwing the keys on the table. The other shivered and turned his head towards the owner of the flat abruptly, only now acknowledging his presence. 

“Oh, sorry, I spaced out,” Hyungwon smiled and put the laptop to the side, getting up and walking up to Hoseok. “How’s your day been?” he reached for the zip on Hoseok’s jacket and pulled it down, before pulling the jacket off his shoulders. Hoseok stared at him throughout the whole process, not tearing his gaze away from him for a second, mouth slightly open. Hyungwon noticed the other silently admiring him and smirked, “Close your mouth before a bug flies into it,” He said with a chuckle and Hoseok blinked, quickly realising what he was doing. 

“Shit,” he took the jacket off completely and threw it on the hanger. He seemed to load his mind processes for another couple of second, before snapping his fingers with an “ah!” and turning to pick up a full big plastic bag. “I brought some stuff for you!” Hoseok said excitedly and quickly went past Hyungwon to the table to put the bag on it. He didn’t manage to hide the blush creeping up his cheeks from the younger. 

“What is it?” Hyungwon smiled wider and jumped to stand by Hoseok’s side, close enough to hear his rushed heartbeat. 

“It’s… just a bunch of stuff I thought you might need,” Hoseok gulped and reached to pull something from the bag. Hyungwon’s eyes lit up and he licked over his lips a few times. “This,” Hoseok pulled a dark fabric-made knot and handed it straight to Hyungwon, “is a bunch of clothes. I don’t know what you like wearing, but I thought you might need at least something of your size, so I tried to choose it wisely,” Hoseok mumbled quickly and pretended to look for something deeper in the bag. A gentle smile graced Hyungwon’s face and he carefully put this bunch of clothes on the table. “Now, these are contact lenses,” Hoseok handed him a small box. Brown contacts. “Because if we ever go to somewhere public, you would definitely need to hide your eyes,” Hyungwon nodded with the same tiny smile that seemed to be stuck on his lips ever since Hoseok came home, and put them in the building pile on the table, “Those are snacks, I thought you might want some because you ate all of my crisps already,” Hoseok handed him another plastic bag with food in it, and Hyungwon opened his mouth in a wide smile, excited beyond belief. He immediately reached for a pack of onion crisps and opened it, burying his hand in it and engulfing a handful of salty snacks. 

Hoseok stared at him for a while, seemingly clueless about his own actions, and shook his head to returned back to reality. He put the rest of the stuff he bought on the table and waited for the other to finish munching so he could talk to him clearly. 

“I’m free early today, as you can see. Do you, uh,” Hoseok scratched the back of his head, “want to go out somewhere?” 

Hyungwon smiled, ad he always did at everything Hoseok did, and nodded his head eagerly, body visibly jiggling and bouncing on the place. “Of course I do,” he grabbed a pile of clothes from the table and ran off into the bedroom to get changed. Hoseok followed suit. 

“Wear contacts today, please,” he spun a box with contact lenses between his fingers and pretended to read off the cover, trying not to look at naked Hyungwon, who was standing in the middle of the room picking clothes. 

“If I wear contacts,” he pulled a pair of underwear, to which Hoseok sighed in relief, “my eyes will hurt. In case of emergency, if something happens and I have to defend myself, I have to act quickly,” he chose a pair of jeans and slid into them. They fit nearly perfectly, still a but loose around his calves, “Quickly means there’s no time to take contacts off, if I don’t take my contacts off before turning into an animal, my eyes will hurt,” he threw on a sweater and opened one of the closet doors with an inbuilt mirror on it, “If my eyes hurt, I become blind,” he fixed his outfit and turned to look at Hoseok, “What’s the use of a blind animal?”

Hoseok sighed, “I will defend you, Hyungwon,” the other chuckled, putting socks on. “Hyungwon,” he approached the other male and looked him in the eyes. He needed to make sure Hyungwon understood, “I will protect you. I promise,” and the way he said it, unwavering and determined, putting a fat dot at the end, made Hyungwon sigh and silently take a contact lenses box out of Hoseok’s hands. The latter smiled contently. 

Hoseok was choosing a jacket when Hyungwon came out of the bedroom. His breath hitched. Hyungwon looked stunning with brown contacts, his eyes somehow looking bigger and warmer, rounder, inviting. He was pretty. Hoseok didn’t even try hiding his fascination anymore – Hyungwon could smell it all anyways. 

“You look good,” Hoseok blurted out and immediately kneeled on the floor to put his shoes on and hide his blushing cheeks. Hyungwon did the same but with an amused smile on his prettily curved lips. When they both got up, Hoseok clicked his fingers, “Right!” he reached into his jeans pocket, “There’s your phone,” he handed Hyungwon a black, new looking device, and the other accepted it with a cheerful ‘yes!’, “I already saved my number on it. And Hyunwoo’s as well, in case of emergency when I’m not home.”

Hyungwon cocked his head to the side in confusion, “But he has no idea who I am?”

“It’s okay, just say you’re from Hoseok. It’s really hard to get any of our personal information unless you’re close to us. He’ll understand.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Hyungwon hid his new phone in his jeans pocket, checked his jacket pockets for the presence of cigarettes and a lighter, and followed Hoseok out of the apartment. 

 

They went to the park, one of the only safe public places left in town. It was fairly small, with a few children playgrounds, arcades and food stands, tons of benches and one ride suitable for adults, but it all made Hyungwon so happy that he couldn’t stand still in one place, sniffing around every single food stand and jumping up and down like a toddler on his birthday. 

“I haven’t been on a date in such a long time, and I haven’t had cotton candy in years, please buy it, Hoseok, can we also have a hot dog? I don’t like dogs so I’ll imagine eating it as if I’m biting on Minhyuk’s tail, it’s hilarious. Oh, can we also play a game? I want to see you shoot,” Hyungwon kept on rambling and rambling, excited and radiating brightness on such a grey ordinary day. Hoseok’s brain short-circuited after Hyungwon called it a ‘date’, and followed the other male around with the only thought to hold his thin long hand. They couldn’t do it in public though, so Hoseok mentally slapped himself and returned back to the grey pavement and dingy grass under his feet. 

He didn’t notice Hyungwon sneaking a few bills out of his pocket and already reaching it towards a man behind the hotdog stand. Hyungwon smiled widely as he took two rolls into his huge hand and ran back to Hoseok. 

“Here, have it,” he shoved a hotdog into the other’s hand and his own into his mouth. Hoseok laughed at the way Hyungwon’s cheeks puffed out and his struggles with trying to chew his mushy chunk of bread and meat. 

They continued eating in comforting silence filled with children’s shouting in the background and wet chewing sounds, when Hyungwon froze and turned abruptly towards the naked bushes in the distance. He sniffed and his eyes scanned the area in front. Hoseok got worried. 

“Is everything okay?” he unconsciously reached for his inside pocket of his jacket to make sure his handgun was there, but Hyungwon laid his hand on top of Hoseok’s to stop his actions. The taller man moved towards the bushes. 

In a moment, Hyungwon smiled and squatted down on the ground. There was a grey cat a few meters away, hidden behind bare branches. Hyungwon didn’t move as he made an eye contact with the animal, and the cat stared back at him. They seemed to be connecting. Was this normal? Was this some of kind of an animal thing? Hoseok didn’t know but he held his breath when Hyungwon slowly bit into his hotdog again and spit out a piece into his hand the next instant. He extended his arm towards the cat. The animal didn’t move, eyes wide and concentrated on Hyungwon’s actions. When the cat didn’t budge, Hyungwon sighed and put a piece of sausage on the ground, slowly getting up and signaling Hoseok to go further down the park. When the taller man was dreamily bouncing off in front, finishing his hotdog, Hoseok turned around to see the cat running away from the spot where Hyungwon kneeled down, with a piece of food in his mouth.

It took them a good hour to walk around the whole park, and it started to get dark. Hoseok suggested they went home and Hyungwon agreed with a smile.

“I wish I had a tail to show you how happy I am,” he said nonchalantly and grabbed Hoseok by his arm to lead him towards the exit from the park. 

“Seeing you smile is enough for me,” Hoseok didn’t think before saying that but Hyungwon’s light squeeze on his hand gave him a reassurance that it was okay. That it was okay to be a little bit whipped; to let Hyungwon feel, rather than see, all of his emotions raw and growing. When they were alone, hidden in the alleys between tall brick houses, they interlinked their hands, and Hyungwon smiled to himself every time Hoseok held it a bit too tightly. It was intimate, and Hyungwon might have felt Hoseok’s heartbeat grow louder than usual. 

 

Hyungwon insisted on going to the shower again and forced Hoseok to go after he was done. When Hoseok returned to the living room, hair wet and clothes damp on his bulky body, he saw the other man sitting with his new phone, eyes concentrated on the screen, and scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. He looked dismayed. He quickly locked his phone and threw it away on the couch when Hoseok approached.

“Hey, kitten,” Hyungwon raised his head to look at him, eyes wide, gaze unreadable. He took the contacts off and the superficial intimidating iciness returned. Hoseok mentally cursed at his impudence, “Sorry, I didn’t realise you might not want me to call you pet names, and I should know that, knowing how much you like being human—“

“No, I like it,” Hyungwon said, voice barely reassuring. His eyes were wide, light blue irises boring a whole in Hoseok’s face. Was he reading him? “Do it again.” 

Hoseok felt his heart jump, and a rush of something ticklish ran up his limbs to the centre of his nervous system. “Kitten.” 

Hyungwon inhaled and closed his eyes, smiling lightly. “Can you,” he opened his eyes, and the blue was warm, “call me yours?”

Hoseok’s heartbeat was going out of control, and he wasn’t sure whether it was panic in front of something unknown or a long forgotten excitement. Hyungwon sat on his couch, in his huge stretched home sweatpants and a t-shirt, eyes of the warm lake in summer looking up at him, strangely pleading and so, so deep. He looked small, as if one Hoseok’s palm was enough to cover him whole. He wanted to drown in the warmth of his blues, become a part of them, call them his, “My kitten.” 

Hyungwon smiled wider, shyly lowering his head and biting on his lower lip. “The date today was good—“

Hoseok reached the couch in seconds and dropped on his knees, unable to stand further apart from the other anymore. He grabbed Hyungwon’s thin hands and looked him in the eyes, from his position on the floor, and he felt like he belonged there. If the man on the couch told Hoseok to worship him, god knew he would, he would pray and sacrifice himself, do whatever the other asked him to, for just one thing in return, “You’ve been with me longer than I’ve been with you, how long did it take you start liking me?” Hoseok blurted out, breathing irregular as he waited for an answer. 

Hyungwon’s affection was raw, unfiltered, crystal clear like the glaze of his blue irises, and Hoseok wanted it all, knowing he’d give it all back. 

“Not long. It’s very hard to stay indifferent to you,” Hyungwon brought their intertwined hands closer to his chest, squeezing them. The blues of his eyes were a flowing river, lonely and calm. It was a silent question.

“It took me minutes,” Hoseok replied, fascinated by the way the blue light sparkled with something light and happy, “Well, probably longer since I had to get over the shock at the presence of a naked human being in my apartment first, but,” he brought Hyungwon’s hands to his face and left longing, repenting kisses on the back of them, “it felt like seconds.”

“Do you like me?” Hyungwon’s voice was quiet. He wanted confirmation, the genuine one, the one he never received before. 

He barely caught Hoseok’s tiny nod before he lowered his head and cupped the other’s face to bring him closer. Hoseok rose on his knees and his hands found Hyungwon’s legs for support, and he reached forward, because it was the only thing he wanted. Maybe it wasn’t just that moment, maybe it was since the first time he saw him, because when his lips found Hyungwon’s he felt unbelievable comfort, warmth and calamity, and he closed his eyes to keep the tears inside. It was gentle, ephemeral, and Hoseok felt the dry softness of his lips, the way they covered Hoseok’s own, and the way he wanted more. Hyungwon was an open wire of pure emotions and devotional affection, and it hadn’t been a second before the taller brought Hoseok up and sat him on the couch, climbing on top of him and attaching himself to his lips again, passionately, fervently, like it was the last time Hyungwon had the chance to do so. There was always a possibility it was. 

Hyungwon breathed deep, licking into Hoseok’s mouth, twisting his tongue with the other’s, scratching Hoseok’s face at every wet sound they made, because he wanted it more than he had ever before. Hoseok reached below his stretched out t-shirt, touching the skin of Hyungwon’s flat stomach that contracted under the weightless sensations, and Hoseok suddenly stopped. Hyungwon leaned back after giving the other man’s lips a long, promising kiss, and looked the other in the eyes. 

“You know that I belong to you, right?” he half whispered, stroking Hoseok’s face, brushing over long red marks he accidentally left on his jawline. 

“Don’t you feel better when you’re free?” Hoseok rested his hands on his waist over the shirt, unable to keep himself from touching the other but scared to go too far. 

“No. It feels horrifying – having no one to protect me. We really don’t survive well on our own, Hoseok,” he tangled his long fingers in the other’s still wet locks, messing them, “We have to balance two lives we possess and we can’t let either of them die before the time comes,” he brushed his thumb of Hoseok’s pink, unresisting lips, and smiled, “And I need someone cuddle and give love to.”

“Would you give me the right to own you?” Hoseok was scared. Not of responsibility, not of the beast, but of Hyungwon’s willing devotion, the extent of it. Hoseok feared too much power. He feared the possibility of someone taking Hyungwon away like his treasured possession. He feared the distance between them, but the extreme proximity too. Hyungwon was so easy to break. 

“I’ve given it to you long ago,” Hyungwon kissed his cheeks, and he was close, irretrievably close, and Hoseok feared himself. In the world like theirs, too much power was a sign of death. But he couldn’t say no when he had no right in saying anything, when it was Hyungwon’s free choice to give himself up, and there was so much trust in his every touch, his every gaze, his words, his unguarded sleeping form next to him, his little kisses on his face. Hoseok slid his hands up Hyungwon’s narrow back, feeling his protruding spine and ribs, and he knew that he would kill anyone who dared to hurt him. Hyungwon was his, because he gave himself willingly, hoping to get protection and love. The ones he needed to survive.

“Then I do. I own you, and you belong to me,” he palmed Hyungwon’s soft round cheeks that puffed up when he smiled, and he leaned into the touch.

“I belong to you,” and he said those words with devotion of a soldier, with trust of a child, with love of a lonely, broken man, who didn’t have to feel shattered anymore. He hugged Hoseok tight, absorbing his warmth and imprinting himself on his skin, so the weight of his beating heart stayed forever on Hoseok’s strong chest. The latter’s arms wrapped protectively over Hyungwon’s fragile form, and he promised to never let him go. Not until Hyungwon decided to leave him for good. 

“You can put a collar on me if you want,” Hyungwon said after detaching himself and leaning back to look Hoseok in the eyes. 

“I don’t need to.”

“You own me.”

“I don’t want to be possessive,” Hoseok eyed the other’s thin neck and reached to leave a soft kiss on the column of his throat, and he felt it vibrate as Hyungwon exhaled a bit too loudly.

“I chose you as the owner. You don’t have the right to say no,” Hyungwon buried his fingers in Hoseok’s hair as the other kissed his skin, covered his neck with open-mouthed kisses, and Hyungwon released a tiny, barely audible moan when Hoseok bit. 

“I will protect you,” he moved his hands under Hyungwon’s shirt, and they were warm on the other’s thin skin, “I will never let you go,” Hoseok whispered, and Hyungwon raised his arms to let the shorter man take his t-shirt off. “I will hold you in my arms, so you know that I own you just how you own my heart,” Hoseok kissed Hyungwon’s shoulders, his chest, his stomach.

Hyungwon’s fingers restlessly scratched over Hoseok’s clothed back, tugging at the collar. He wanted it off. He wanted everything off. 

“Hoseok, please,” Hyungwon whispered, but when Hoseok didn’t stop, he grabbed his face and forced it up to look at him, “I,” he kissed the other’s lips, “want,” and again, with more vigour and persistence, “you,” he bit Hoseok’s lips, bringing him back to reality, because he couldn’t take so much. He couldn’t take his loved one’s kisses without giving him the same amount back. 

Hoseok picked Hyungwon up in his arms, and the taller wrapped his legs around his waist immediately, pressing himself tighter and tighter, leaving no space between them. And he kept kissing and kissing, until Hoseok gently laid him down on the bed, hand covering the back of Hyungwon’s head to soften the landing, even though the bed was softer than clouds. 

“You want to, you really want to?” Hoseok asked in between kisses he trailed down his stomach to the waistband of his sweatpants. He gently gripped his sides, rested his hands on his sharp hipbones, and stroked his back with the tip of his fingers, accidentally brushing over the scar and making Hyungwon hiss. 

“Keep doubting and you never see me as a human ever again,” Hyungwon quietly groaned, writhing in bed, hair a mess, chest rising heavily. Hoseok took off his shirt, and Hyungwon released a relieved sigh, bordering on maniac excitement. He stretched out his hands to stroke down Hoseok’s pecs, down to his abs, but Hoseok took his wrists and lied on top of him instead, his face right above him. The weight was comforting but too still, and Hyungwon wanted to move, cry, cut, scratch and scream, and he felt helpless. Hoseok stroked the sides of his face, shushing a suddenly frenzied Hyungwon, who lost his ability to speak and could only produce chesty growling sounds. Hoseok combed his hair and brushed his cheeks, and Hyungwon reduced to low purring. He kept his icy blue gaze still, unwavering, tough, as if threatening Hoseok unless he took action. 

“I don’t want to go aggressive on you,” Hoseok quietly said, and Hyungwon growled, pressing his palms tight to the other’s back and scraping him hard. Hoseok winced, “Hyungwon,” he cupped his face, squishing his face, making him stop and relax, but his growls got louder and he curved his upper lip up to reveal sharp fangs. Hoseok tried to soothe him, continuously stroking the back of his head and kissing his cheeks, the tip of his nose, his eyelids, and when Hyungwon closed his mouth, he left a kiss on his lips too, “It’s okay if we go slow,” Hoseok whispered, “It’s okay if you lie down and let me make you feel good,” he kissed his forehead, his temple, his jawline, and Hyungwon’s breathing calmed down. He purred softly, “I won’t do anything that will make you feel unpleasant, okay?” Hoseok looked him in the eyes, “You don’t need to be scared,” Hyungwon’s blues turned into an ocean, deep and scary, that one that hid monstrous creatures and drowned ships. He closed his eyes, inhaling, and his hands relaxed on Hoseok’s back. The latter smiled, “We go slow, okay?”

Hyungwon nodded and kept his eyes shut. It was Hoseok in front of him, and Hoseok held him gently, with so much care that Hyungwon couldn’t immediately believe it was real. 

“I won’t hurt you, I will protect you,” Hoseok kept whispering into his skin, moving down, kissing his every inch, “I will protect you,” Hyungwon knew, “Don’t be scared,” he wasn’t, “I don’t want to hurt you, and I never will.”

“I know,” Hyungwon whispered back. He had to shush Hoseok this time, let him see that he knew, that he wasn’t scared anymore, that he trusted him like he never trusted anyone else before. He was safe. 

Hoseok kissed Hyungwon’s lower stomach and pulled the sweatpants down, taking them off completely. He admired him, bare and unguarded, but unexposed, safe and protected in his bed, in his bedroom, in his apartment, and Hoseok would never let anyone hurt a person who was his by his own word. He didn’t stop touching Hyungwon’s skin, caressing his thighs, making the other squirm and shake his legs. He was sensitive everywhere, even when Hoseok lightly tapped his knee with the tip of his finger, and brushed down his calve to the thin ankle that he put on his shoulder and left a hand wrapped around it. Hoseok bent down, to Hyungwon’s inner thigh, leaving kisses there. 

Hyungwon breathed deeper, feeling excitement growing in the pit of his stomach, and Hoseok understood everything without words, feeling the other’s legs twitching in anticipation. Hoseok took his cock into his hand and gave it a few strokes, while Hyungwon kept his eyes shut and turned his head from side to side, unable to keep still. His nerves were on fire, and he felt everything, every little thing, with a double intensity, and the kiss on the tip made his stomach flex, and the lick over the slit send a bullet up his spine into his throat, just to release it as a half-whine, half-groan, and when Hoseok slid down, further with every move, it felt like a slap of hot water, too sensitive, too uncovered, and Hyungwon fisted the sheets under his palms, trying to stay sane. 

He lived months without any human contact, he spend those months alone, unloved, and when Hoseok gave himself completely, just like that, without asking for anything back, it felt unreal, too real, surreal, a dream in a dream over which he had no control. He was so out of it that he barely noticed Hoseok leaving to grab lube and a condom, and when the slick sound of the substance between his fingers filled the room, Hyungwon basked in it, loving the obscenity, the one he got so used to and the one he learned to love. He touched his nipples, moaning quietly at the tickling sensation, and his breath hitched when Hoseok covered his cock with his mouth again and pressed his fingers to the tight hole. He unconsciously squeezed his legs together and clenched the muscles, having forgotten what it felt like.

“Relax, kitten,” Hoseok whispered, barely audible, and he caressed his thigh with his free hand, sucked slowly and stretched like he had all the time in the world, and Hyungwon wanted to push against his finger, his second one, his third one, and he blinked the unwanted tears out when Hoseok pressed on where he needed to, and Hyungwon’s entire nervous system centered there like a tight naked wire, and he whimpered hoarsely when Hoseok synchronised the movements of his tongue over the slit and the hits into the prostate, and Hyungwon lost the rest of his body, his entire soul focused on where Hoseok was. 

Hoseok pulled out, and Hyungwon felt empty, nerve wires inflamed, with too much energy to burn. Hoseok put a pillow under the other’s lower back and finally took his pants off, hissing. Hyungwon was brought back to reality, where Hoseok was painfully hard and sweating, and suddenly his senses were let out free, and he smelt it all, heard it all, saw it all: Hoseok’s wet palms sliding up and down his thighs that reminded him of the rustling of dry towels; his heartbeat that impetuously went faster and louder, like a thump of boots on the stairs, and Hoseok’s dark, glistening gaze, that felt beastlier than Hyungwon’s entire being ever was. In the blue semi-darkness of the bedroom, Hoseok’s skin looked pale, transparent, and Hyungwon caught every twitch of his muscles. He could only barely distinguish the tiny, low growl Hoseok released when he pressed his cock to Hyungwon’s entrance, and he was feeling for two. 

He felt hot, too small, too helpless, pushed to the limits, but Hoseok lied on top of him, the same comforting weight, and Hyungwon knew he could do this. Hoseok shushed and whispered, kissed Hyungwon’s face, brushed his hair, whispering and whispering, breathing out words of comfort and praise, but Hyungwon could only focus on the torturously slow thrusts of Hoseok’s hips. Too slow, too full, and suddenly it wasn’t enough when he hit it again, and Hyungwon arched forward, arms thrown onto Hoseok’s back, crossed behind his neck, and they had no air to breathe in the absolute lack of space they had between them. 

“You’re doing well, kitten,” Hoseok whispered lowly against his mouth, breath hot, and Hyungwon didn’t care, biting the other’s lips to shut him up. And Hoseok was slow, careful, feeling every moment, and Hyungwon wanted to cry, he wanted speed and consistency, but Hoseok kept hushing and whispering into his ear, sweaty palms caressing his thin back, and only when Hoseok twitched inside of him did he wrap his hand around Hyungwon’s cock. And the same synchronisation, the doubled pleasure that made Hyungwon whimper and sniff, and the closer he got, the bloodier the scratches on Hoseok’s back grew. And only when Hyungwon scraped past the same long red marks, he finally got the undying sensation that brought him to the end, that made the wires explode, and he shook in Hoseok’s arms, coming with an involuntary whine that he kept right at the top of his lungs, at the front of his throat, and he cried and pushed his hips back, away from the oversensitivity that clouded him as Hoseok chased his own release. 

Hoseok growled, pressed Hyungwon tight, chest-to-chest, and held the back of his head like he was afraid it was going to shatter into million pieces. He twisted the long sweaty locks with his fingers and opened his mouth in a silent, deaf moan as he came, and his hips twitched with the final movements. 

Hyungwon closed his eyes shut tightly, squirting the tears away, and they both stayed in each other’s arms, calming their breathing and heartbeats. Hoseok pulled out, and Hyungwon collapsed on the sheets, exhausted, and he felt empty, and the sweat cooled his skin unpleasantly. Hoseok brought a warm damp towel from the bathroom and wiped Hyungwon’s body gently, with care, as always. And Hoseok looked happy. 

Hyungwon mirrored his tiny smile in the corner of his lips, and hid under the sheets, waiting for Hoseok to settle next to him. He lied down too, and Hyungwon find a place on his chest. He listened to his heartbeat, and it was calm. He was happy – he could feel it. And Hyungwon was happy too. 

“I will sleep, will you join me in my dreams?” Hoseok whispered and caressed Hyungwon’s cheek. He smiled. It was affection after affection, it was a loving gesture after mutual pleasure, and this concept was so long forgotten for Hyungwon that he barely resisted the urge to cry. He never wanted to feel unhappy ever again. He never wanted to feel left out, one-sided, hurt, thrown out, like a useless toy, like a stray pet. He was owned by someone who wanted him.

“I love you,” Hyungwon meant it like never before. Hoseok became his everything, and he gave him everything, and he was his safe place. Hoseok was leaving soon, and Hyungwon knew there might not be another chance to say what he was meaning to say. And he wanted to fill their last hours with tenderness and love that he knew they shared; that was their safeguard; that was the only genuine thing in the gruesome world like theirs. 

Hoseok never said the words back. Hyungwon waited to the last second until Hoseok fell asleep, but he never received an answer. He shattered again, in the way he didn’t expect to. Not this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on twt @chaethebadboy

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twt @chaeleggiewon


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